Sex

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Of her many considerations, my hostess warned me of regular and highly apparent sex in the apartment directly above me.  After 19 days, I began to wonder about the validity of her claim…  To this point, I didn’t hear a thing… No squeaking bed, no spanking, no screams of passion… just the occasional foot steps of someone living an apartment life.  Boring.

It all changed at 7:30 tonight.

While getting ready to meet another long lost Denver friend for dinner in Pac Heights, I was startled by the vigorous rocking of my ceiling.  Clearly something naughty was finally happening one floor up.  As I continued to get ready, I took it upon myself to rate their performance (I feel this is my duty as their downstairs neighbor and an unintended audience to their vigor).

They started like a steam engine moving steadily through the Alps (perhaps carrying French soldiers to surrender somewhere).   In this early stage, they were rhythmic and collected with short and steady motions.  Then an abrupt stop… disjointed…  Then nothing.

…Then back at it… Suddenly vigorous and active.  Clearly a position change… Perhaps an athletic stance?  …Obviously less constrained.  Some light whimpers accumulated and were occasionally offset by deeper moans.  Things were really happening now… Then nothing.

Position change…  They slowed it down again.  The trained continued its march through the Alps… Choooo Chooooo…

Sadly, I had to leave before the ultimate conclusion which makes an ”all around” score difficult.  For now, they get a 6.5